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As experience shows, it’s easier to fool somebody on a regular day, rather than on April 1st. Christmas gift Dear Santa, Please do not leave my gift under the Christmas tree. Drive it straight into the garage. Christmas tree – I left my girlfriend a Christmas gift under the Christmas tree. The forest is large, lots of trees Santa Claus Santa Claus comes to a psychiatrist and says: The most scary thing about Halloween is that shops have already started selling Christmas goods.

Funny headlines Part 1

In , 11 Australian commandos , all white, disguised themselves as Malay fishermen by dyeing their skin brown and boarding a fishing boat. They sailed through 2, miles of Japanese-controlled ocean from Australia to Singapore. At one point they even traveled right alongside a Japanese warship without them noticing anything strange which was good, because none of the commandos could speak Malay.

They then took canoes right into Singapore Harbor, where they blew up seven Japanese ships before escaping. So racism is OK as long as you have plenty of bombs and canoes. Somehow, this totally worked, and she snagged the plans to a fort and the identities of some Confederate spies before ” escaping ” back to Union lines.

Second, I’ve been on dating sites for only 10 days and already want to cry and cry due to meager, pitiful profiles and some frankly scary pictures. Then, yesterday, I read this really great profile.

My time spent internet dating was short and sweet. It took me exactly two and a half weeks to find the man of my dreams. Within two days I had made it to number 3 in the top women in my age group. My internet dating career was successful because of my profile. What I stumbled upon accidentally, turned out to be my greatest asset. I did one simple thing to make me stand out from the crowd.

This is your first impression — the cover of the book, the opening sentence, the hook. Here are a few examples from current profiles on a popular site: Looking for someone special Looking for that unspoken connection, my best friend first and foremost Genuine caring fun happy Not really looking for love right now, but some entertainment would be great I am looking for my best mate, is that you?

Now be honest, do any of these headlines intrigue you, or make you want to know more about the person? My dating profile led with a quote instead of a position description. A quote works on more than one level.

The Best Introduction Lines for Dating

Dezember Flirty Taglines How can you possibly make a movie of Lolita? I like your pants around your feet a Nickelback song you wouldve thought Id have got tons of responses but not really that many. I think that ZoomZommZoom sounds a little racy too I love it! I seriously doubt anyone pays attention to any of it. Joy, tell me more about your knife collection. The tagline is to quickly say something about you that you may want other people to see which is more visible.

Home» Examples of Good Online Dating Profiles to Attract Women After you read advice on writing a great online dating profile to attract women you should be ready to apply this advice and write your own great dating profile.

So, lets look at a few typical examples of bad profiles: I like sports and good wine. I am looking to a meet an intelligent, beautiful woman for dating and relationship. However, it has one major flaw that will make many women skip over it. It looks just like a thousand of other profiles. Lets look at another bad profile: I love hiking, watching baseball, and bbq on weekends. Again, this profile has a very weak beginning…. Now, lets look at an example of a profile that will stand out through both the way they are written and their content.

JOKE OF THE DAY

Funny Ideas for Dating Profiles By: Siva Stephens A prospective match on an online dating website may scroll through hundreds of profiles looking for one that catches the eye, so you want your profile to be a standout. One way to do this is by adding humor to the page. Creating an attention-grabbing entry on a matchmaking site requires the same tools as any successful advertising campaign: You want to draw attention and curiosity so a could-be match will want to read more. Adding some humor to your profile photo can make people want to know more about you.

It’s a strange and funny and weird thing. Sometimes you have a conversation with someone and the paparazzi snaps a picture of you and people decide you’re dating. If I try to answer everything people say, I would be up all night.

These guys are all smart and really funny! But as far as dating profiles go…. A mix of seriousness added in would make these profiles perfect! Very youthful profiles because, well, these men are young. These guys have revealed very little about who they are, in a sense. I bet they would be worth meeting! Radio Wright August 30, , 3: You say these profiles reveal very little about themselves. I see a bit of mystery as a good thing, no a great thing.

What more do you think they should reveal? Thanks for your comment. Reply laurie April 5, , 3:

Recent trends:

According to licensed New York mental health counselor, Tom Kearns, LMSW, “a woman who still wants to party and not spend time at home, clubbing every night, and worrying only about the next party can be too much. If a movie night at home is a deal breaker for her, then that’s a deal breaker. And there’s a different kind of addiction that can make a man run in the other direction: Similarly, “it can be off-putting if a woman spends inordinate amounts of time on social media,” says single dad, Michael not his real name , “particularly if it involves posting numerous selfies and frequently changing her profile pic.

Funny Quotes QUOTATION – Image: Quotes about Funny – Description 35 Funny Quotes That Will Make Your Day Sharing is Caring – Hey can you Share this Quote! Relationship Quotes .

Following the ceremony there will be no reception. To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. Toyota has announced it will start integrating Microsoft technology into their vehicles. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death. Compulsive texting gives me the willies.

I’ve invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. My life is now a constant assessment of whether what’s happening in real life is more entertaining than what’s happening on my phone. Our society will never go entirely paperless. Technology has really changed parenting. My computer could be more encouraging. You know, instead of “invalid password”, why not something like, “Ooooh, you’re so close!

Funny T Shirts? We have over 1000 of them!

As Woolie continues, he goes into detail about the story – breaking levels of Character Derailment in the script: He caps it off by revealing that, instead of being sacrificed for a cruel fate, Mono is killed accidentally by her father in a drunken rage, a change that completely robs Wander’s quest to revive her of any sense of gravity. Matt and Pat are beyond stunned with this.

Share our collection of inspirational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Share our Quotes of the Day on the web, Facebook, Twitter, and blogs.

The average IQ required to thoroughly understand a computer. A funny fun crazy silly dictionary Abdicate, v.: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. The temple of the god Stomach, in whose worship, with sacrificial rights, all true men engage. From women this ancient faith commands but a stammering assent. They sometimes minister at the altar in a half-hearted and ineffective way, but true reverence for the one deity that men really adore they know not.

If woman had a free hand in the world’s marketing the race would become graminivorous. Anyone or anything that differs from my idea of “average. Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize. To correct a misconception. A missing golfing accessory.

The Best Humor websites

Its “Celeb Justice” section reports shenanigans in the courts, “Fights” and “Drunks” do what they say on the tin. Sadly “Nice Stories” hasn’t been updated since Popbitch The original UK home of slur, innuendo and usually unsubstantiated rumours. The site itself is pretty dull but sign up for the weekly email to see where all the tabloids steal their stories from.

It turns out some of the programs and websites you use every day are filled with hidden jokes or secret features that prove that programmers are even nerdier than we had assumed.

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And if your bondage budget is seriously constrained, these pink neoprene-and-velcro wrist-or-ankle cuffs for less than fifteen bucks a pair as discounted for the sale look like a nice bargain. Get two sets maybe? Either of these would make an excellent fetish gift for the budget-conscious. The first is the Scandal lace hood: And finally, this simple and inexpensive leather choker with heart-shaped padlock functional lock, choker available in red or black seems like an instant classic: The sale has about 2.

So get to work! Elsewhere on Bondage Blog:

10 Bizarre Internet Dating Sites


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